People 101

My dearest friend has recently endured a major betrayal by someone close to her . Knowing what she was going through,for years with this person , was hard for those who love her . What do we do ? If we barge in , full of self-righteous indignation, to confront the person with their actions...with the intention of changing them,we only serve to make our friend's life all the harder . If we do nothing , are we giving tacit approval to the perpetrator's actions ?
Rule # 1 - You can't change anyone but yourself
Despite our dreams of grandeur and power , we are only able to change ourselves...and that rarely .Sorry to be the bearer of bad news to those brides,sure they are up to the task of a major makeover of their intended spouses. You may be successful in getting them not to leave their drawers in the middle of the room and sometimes not be startled by cold contact with an unclosed throne seat ,but beyond that , whatever changes are effected depend on what he is willing to do to maintain the peace in the home ! Ladies , choose your battles wisely !! Which ties into ...
Rule #2-People won't change unless they want to
Although we frequently considered a sound thrashing to bring that person to their senses (so our friend would finally be treated fairly) , reason prevailed.It's sort of like hitting a stone...the stone is unchanged,but your hand really hurts !
In the end , all we could do was to support her emotionally , listen with validation when she wanted to talk , try hard not to complicate her life further , bring goodies to cheer her,whenever possible and love her always . It's hard to realize one's limitations in such a situation and figure out what a wise person would do...and pray that is the course we've chosen. Oh,for a magic wand and the proper instruction sheet !!!