The Dog Question

Someone asked me yesterday what my dog does when I'm not home .What an intriguing question ! I knew the answer immediately,of course . My dog's day is determined by how distracted I was when leaving the house . Her favorite times are when the garbage has been left outside the confines of a locked room. She races to the garbage can the second she hears us exit and the key turns the lock . I can only imagine the visuals by the devastation left behind . The can is overturned,dragged through the kitchen and,if the contents are sufficiently messy and disgusting,into the dining room and perhaps into the living room ,as well.Is she starving and therefore hungry ? NO ! You'd have to use xrays to find her ribs. Does she have separation anxiety ? NO ! She enjoys wreaking havoc and the artistic contrast of tomato sauce against a white rug . She found a small bag of chips last week and took it to the daybed in the front room and proceeded to tear the bag in bite-sized pieces and devour only the contents.That daybed is her favorite place,as it affords a panoramic view of the street where we live .She sits,facing out ,and looks up and down the street...ah,Millie has new curtains...Mr.McGrath is trimming his lawn AGAIN... She is such a busybody !Her aerobic activity comes with the arrival of the UPS truck,which she can hear from blocks away.The rumpled condition of the daybed cover reveals if the truck came that day and,even better,actually tried to make a delivery .She barks.she snarls.she jumps wildly on and off that daybed having herself a grand old time. Poor thing,she actually seems disappointed when we stay home...so boring ! That,however,is what my dog does when we go out .