Challenges Of Life

It never fails to amaze me how the simple tasks in life become grounds for serious strategy for us . A case in point is my five-week-anti-aging meeting with my hairdresser . Normally , this takes place on the day Mother goes to daycare . I can relax into the process...being alone...not the caregiver...enjoying that wonderful shampoo head massage...being cared for !
Today is not to be of that calibre.Today is the one day of the week there is no plan for Mother..no aide...no daycare... Today Mother comes with me and we are back to the regime from before the blessing of outside intervention . A chair is provided for her next to me for the application of color and the twenty minute wait for the transformation,made even more difficult if sitting under the dryer to set the stuff . The shampoo is far from relaxing ,as vigilance is required to prevent wandering . Thankfully , the staff is familiar with our situation and help keep an eye on her . Never knowing how Mother's mood will manifest itself , the day is fraught with uncertainty...hardly a nourishing emotional experience !
Well meaning folks are frustrated by my lack of "control" over my day . "What do you have planned for the day ?",they ask . I'm on duty !!! 24/7...all day and all night long . The daily solitary activities they take for granted...taking a shower,drying and styling your hair, taking the time to peruse your closet and choose an outfit to wear...going to the bathroom...paying the bills,reading , gardening...are impossible for me alone and uninterupted . Unlike the everpresent toddler who will soon outgrow being star-fish attached to you , Mother's attachment is increasing . It is born of her fear and vague awareness of fading competance and need for the constant sight of someone familiar...whoever I am to her at the moment . There will come a time,sadly, when these tasks will be completed in a more "normal" manner . The time invested now is well spent...her comfort vastly more important that my solitude...and makes those rare stolen moments for myself most delicious !