Home Again

I have come back to my blog after a very long absence.It is indeed like coming home,with the comfort of old friends to welcome me .Much has happened in the interim.The Bunny has passed away-a dear,quirky soul,as has my beloved dog. Her end came from the horrors of cancer(that cold hand that seems to touch all our lives in one way or another).All who came to her aid were kind,gentle and genuinely concerned,making her as comfortable as possible under the circumstances.She lived a month beyond her surgery and died peacefully in her sleep...and I miss her terribly. Spring will come soon and blanket her resting place with blossoms.
Mother has become more fragile,emotionally.The "Sundown Syndrome" comes earlier,the familiar becomes less so and she yearns for her family,though long gone.The reversal of mother/daughter roles is sad and sometimes frustrating for all concerned.Just when you think the competance has leveled off a bit,there's a surprise...either an old skill remembered or a new one forgotten ! At times like that,I remember my grandmother would want me to take loving,tender care of her only remaining child...and so I do.
I've been reading the "taking care of the caregiver" articles.The advice is sensible,but hard to implement in a 24/7 context.Private phone conversations can only last just so long,before Mother seeks me,looking like a lost child.Suddenly the call's importance pales in the light of her need.There is a real balancing act between the complete custodial nature of her care and maintaining her dignity. Our remaining time together must be focused on her needs,desires,comfort and happiness . Someone once said that one becomes a good mother by learning to be a good daughter ...and the lesson continues...