"Birdsong"

In the effort to finally search through all the accumulated stuff of life , I came across this poem and wish to share : "He doesn't know the world at all Who stays in his nest and doesn't go out . He doesn't know what birds know best Nor what I want to sing about , That the world is full of loveliness . When dewdrops sparkle in the grass And Earth's aflood with morning light , A blackbirk sings upon a bush To greet the dawning after night . Then I know how fine it is to live . Hey , try to open up your heart To beauty ; go to the woods someday And weave a wreath of memory there . Then if the tears obscure your way You'll know who wonderful it is To be alive ." Child in Terezin concentration camp

Porch Garden's Bounty

Like my Mother , and her Mother before her , I need to dig in the dirt ! We are gardeners ( and cooks and creators with fabric and craftors and... sigh...another story for another time ) . The call to order seeds , clean tools and ready the containers for planting is STRONG ! Shifting gears to accommodate my present home required planning , not a "truck garden" , but a Porch Garden ! Those three-lobed stacking planters sheltered various herbs , marigolds , re-grown scallions , ginger ! , lettuces and small oriental cabbages ! Added to the medley was an 18" pot for a small red potato , cut into thirds for each of three sprouted "eyes" .As the roaming deer like to snack on EVERYTHING , a cage of hardware cloth was fashioned to cover the emerging foliage . Fast forward to last week , said foliage's fading indicated it was time to harvest . That small planter yielded about three pounds of red potatoes !!! I AM DELIGHTED !!!

Another poem...(12/10/99)

" I love the sounds of storm - so sea-like , As winds surge through treetops And crash against the house , To recede and crash again . Strangely comforting to a land-locked shore-dweller - To be lulled to sleep by ocean's surf So far from the salty tang ."

" I Am More "

Uncluttering revealed several poems I'd written between 1999 and 2004...here's one : "I Am More " " I am more than the lines in my face , the grey in my hair , or the changes in my figure . I am more than Mrs.Somebody or So-and-So's mother . I am more than the car I drive , the clothes I wear , Or how big the stone is in the ring that may or may not be on my left hand . I am a Woman , with a capital "W" , A most precious , vibrant bundle of thoughts , talents and abilities . Able to lovingly rear two children on a $4 per hour job , To manage a household despite money that should be there , but isn't . To pursue creative goals with passion , to reach out to those in need with compassion and tenderness . Creating small pools of peace amid chaos , nurturing , loving , building , changing the world for the better , a little at a time . The beauty you see comes from within - sparkling in my eyes and flashing in my smile . I am Woman - a MOST precious bundle of thoughts , talents and abilities ! "

Reality Check - Medical Version

At the very beginning of this month , the good intentions of chores finally addressed evaporated in the wake of cardiac symptoms . The very classic fist-sized pressure between the shoulder blades , then under the left arm , then mid-sternum , seasoned with breathless-ness and sweating , all made their appearance . Although each past event had slightly different hints , the ER cardiologists' advice was the same... since I am unable to differentiate between cardiac and neurogenic events (where a trio of spinal conditions conspire to pinch the very nerves that generate scary symptoms , though not involve the heart ) , getting to the ER is a must !!! And so , a bag was hastily packed , close friends alerted and EMS called . In our community , the ambulance is accompanied with an additional one that bears a paramedic and sometimes , even a police car...a triple alarm for my dear neighbors . Blood work was done...several times...and as a component thereof ( that reveals if the heart has suffered damage) was rising , I was kept overnight , for observation . I was finally released late afternoon the following day , with the stern admonition to follow up with my PCP and a cardiologist , ASAP . The cardiologist (new to me , but highly recommended by dear friends) was a surprising gem ! He actually made eye contact , listened to how I landed in the ER and past experiences , asked intelligent questions and listened to my responses !!! The appointment lasted about TWENTY MINUTES !! It seems , there IS now a way to find out if I am at risk for a cardiac event ! It involves a very specific CT scan of my heart...if the "score" is zero , there is no risk for me . If it is higher , we confir about options . This will go a long way to eliminating the "waiting for the other shoe to drop" concerns of the past , where I never knew if those symptoms would really be cardiac "this time' . By the Grace of God , life goes on !

Reality...check ??

At some point , during the course of my days , a mirror is passed . There are several hung throughout my house , reflecting the light and brightening the rooms . Occasionally , I catch a fleeting image there of an old woman who is wearing my clothes ! Reason would dictate that the image is a true reflection of my current self . My inner self chooses to disagree ! Surely the internal perception of a young , energetic physically fit young lady doesn't look like THAT !!! Perhaps , it is a preferable division of perception , than to be an aged inner self in a young body , but that obvious contrast in my mirror image is...sobering. The demands of the day intrude , that moment passes , and the delusion carries on !

The Friday Nap

After the excitement of the previous day and a mostly sleepless night , wisdom prevailed and an after-lunch nap was declared ! All the "nesting" preparations were made and I settled in ...sort of . My astute kitty recognizes the very specific rustle of bedlinen and launched herself onto my bed . There was much kneading , snuffling and inspecting before she wiggled under the light throw blanket and began the "settling in " process , in earnest . Finally satisfied with her choice of site (next to my calf) , position and everything else needed for cat comfort , she flopped down . The challenge I faced was trying to doze off while giggling ! You see , every move she made to perfectly adjust for her supreme delight , gently tugged a bit more blanket from me ! Sleep was now out of the question , as was "resting" . As stiffness set in and the prospect of moving to a more comfortable position became an exercize in futility , naptime was officially over , but I felt strangely refreshed , nonetheless !

...and the next Thursday...July17th...

Well ! Thursdays are becoming the days of note , lately ! A friend and I were out again to have a meal by the water...good company , good food , beautiful surroundings . The ride back to our homes was quite a different story ! It was a little after 4pm . Having crossed over the main road to one that would be a direct route to our homes, we'd only gone about a half mile , when a high speed police presence appeared ! Lights blazing , sirens blasting , two cruisers appeared in the traffic behind us and two more coming in the opposite direction...then more appeared (at least 10 !) . Soon , we were in the middle of what felt like a swarm of angry hornets...high speed pursuit of a suspect...weaving in and out of traffic . It was an intense , madly choreographed "dance" . I experienced a strange sense of detachment , as though I was watching a movie unfold and not , in reality , trying to drive through this madness ! The small silver car being pursued , actually passed by us , on our right side...his front bumper loose and sticking out . We were all stopped and witnessed a weird evasive maneuver , where he suddenly swerved right , into the municipal campus , over a curb , into a culvert and across the road into a residential area ! Normally , the police pursuit would be called off , to avoid endangering civilians , but his wheels , disabled by the collision with the culvert , caused his car to collide with a utility pole...and he fled on foot , finally jumping into a nearby lake , where he was apprehended ! It seemed this debacle was alcohol-induced (he was seen earlier actively drinking from bottle and driving erratically almost 30 minutes before he burst onto our scene) . The press release also listed the charges brought against him... almost as long as the details of his extended reign of terror ! The "take away" is a sobering and pointed testimony - It was only by the mercy and compassion of the Most High , that NO ONE WAS HURT OR KILLED ! The potential for this becoming a widespread mass casualty event was extreme , considering all the cars and people who could easily have been harmed by his lunacy !

Thursday

This has been an odd weather day . We've had thunderstorms all week...some with deluge... some were drier. Today dawned gray and somewhat foreboding , yet plans with a friend for a meal out were to be carried out , nonetheless . The intended destination was a favorite...bay waterfront , with slips where hungry boaters could tie up and come ashore for a meal. The food never disappoints , the view is wonderful and meals eaten in the company of friends always taste better ! The drive there included increasing dark clouds and the beginnings of rain , which never approached a downpour , but made the walk into the restaurant a sprightly one ! All went well , as hoped and as we headed to our respective homes , the weather grew steadily better ,so much so that our streets were dry , with no trace of rain ! An odd weather day , indeed !

A Return to Old Joys

Hello ! Submitting to the inner prompt to blog again , it made sense to scroll waaayyy back... to the beginning of this lovely gift blog . Over the course of its 19 year life , those posts covered the good and the bad (the ugly was not shared )of my rather odd life . It memorialized the arrival and passings of dear kitties , precious daily joys , Mom's gradual descent into an unavoidable medical condition that she never deserved and an unexpected , hard-won resilience...clawing back to some semblance of peace and joy over the ensuing years . Along the way , bits of long-lost recipes , forgotted poems , the kindnesses of friends , now gone , and events that helped us through dark times , floated to the surface . Surprising was the greatly diminished response to what might have been an overwhelmingly sad , emotional reaction , especially to Mom's documented end journey... interesting . I still miss her and our daily banter in all the good times and do not regret the 24/7/365 loving care during those not-so-good times . She passed in peace...the warm summer breezes from the window behind , gently washing over her , bringing the wonderful happy sounds of a family picnic at a neighbor's house...not a bad way to go...

Musings

Greetings ! When working as a caregiver , some folks proudly would show me photos from their youth . There were times when the past images bore little resemblance to their current forms . Delicate diplomacy was called for , but the disappointment on their faces was unmistakable . Fast-forward to a recent gathering of chosen family , when photos of my youth were shared . I was not unprepared for the questioning glances of the young ladies who whispered , "You ??". There is an interesting separation between the conscious awareness of self and the condition of the form that contains it . Aware of this in my 20s , I began to ask friends in their 70s and 80s about it . "When you first wake up in the morning , before you move , at what age are you ?" . After a surprised moment and genuine consideration , the consensus was 17 - 22 .I now share that perception . Those early images still resonate with my inner self , to the degree that reality can take one by surprise ! That inner self may not age , but it does come to a point where kindness to the outer self is requested . Stamina and strength , once boundless , must now be measured and expended wisely...definitely not a compromise willingly taken...rather grudgingly accepted ...sigh .

A Special Day

Today , July 5th , 2025 , is an extraordinary day... not for its pomp , nor huge events , but for its elegant simplicity . Looking out my back door , I saw a tiny Song Sparrow hop halfway up my steps , then cut through the iron railings to a storage bin . The bin's lid had collected water from our significant three-day rainstorm . At first , the bird hopped on for a few genteel sips , to satisfy its thirst . Realizing perhaps that the slight angle allowed a greater depth of water along one edge , it ventured in for a quick bath , wings fluttering to spread the cleansing coolness . After flying back to the ground , to peck among the pebbles , it must have decided the new shaded "pool" was an opportunity not to be missed ! A second bath ensued ...longer and more thorough than the first . Having satisfied a need in an unexpected gift , the bird flew up into the ripening Choke Cherry tree to dry off and have a quick snack . It is the discovery of these small blessings that brings such peace : the bees in my lavender plants...the little porch garden and its gifts of herbs and tiny tomatoes...the kindness of good friends , a son's genuine caring and an adoring cat with a huge personality , sassiness and much wisdom. My life now is small , simple and brings much contentment ...and I am most thankful !

A passing...

It seems a new path is in store for others this year , as well . My dear friend of 34 years lost her husband earlier this week . Although a difficult person to live with , she was always quick to remind of the small kindnesses he performed , despite his illness . It is sad how the recent events of the past year and a half have changed the responses between people . Where once , a death brought family , friends and neighbors running to help and comfort , that comfort is conspicuous by its absence... especially from those thought to be the very first to show up ! Where are the visits , meals and phone calls , not only now , but before the passing...during the decline and suffering of the patient and his wife - the 24/7 caregiver...also in need of care ??? Has the "milk of human kindness" truly dried up in those we love and counted on ? For their sakes , in the final accounting , I hope not .

New Beginnings...indeed !

Good Morning ! Well...much has happened since the last post (vast understatement !). The doctor was seen , the MRIs reviewed , bottom line pronounced and we're off on that new road ! My house was put on the market , a suitable , smaller , less expensive alternative lined up and the ensuing madness of getting from here to there continues ! I am beyond grateful for those who were put in my path to help... another indication of that Divine hand ! After 17 years , the combined and accumulated possessions presented a daunting task to unclutter...and so...The Purge began ! The house's contents now represent at least half of their former bulk...the missing bits carefully separated into Donations and Trash . The Purge continues . The task at hand is to wisely bring to the new place only what will fit , what is needed and useful , and what is truly loved... somehow uplifting and freeing to one's spirit ! The new path is not yet clear and so , putting one foot in front of another in faith is what gets us through . Have a splendid day !

A Year of New Beginnings

Hello , there ! Spring is a time of renewal and new beginnings . It would seem especially true for me this year ! This morning will bring a doctor appointment to finally address back issues and the reality of their effect on my job . New beginnings , indeed ! There is an interesting feeling of my feet being finally on the path that will resolve all this , even though , having started , there is as yet no middle , nor ending to this story ! The interesting part is that I am not fearful , but rather curious about where it will lead...like being involved in a good mystery story and being eager to see what happens next ! I am so grateful for the opportunities over the course of my life ! Perhaps the most satisfying are those that involved helping others and having such wonderful friends...so happy to have been useful ! Have a splendid day , my friends !

It is Springtime again !

The early morning light shines with a rosy glow on the trunk of the dogwood out back... its branches intertwined with the crabapple - who reminds me I have missed her glorious adornment of pink blossoms this year . There have been too many "brushfires" to put out - of dear ones and my own - and though I would not change my response to our needs , the simple pleasures of quiet contemplation of beauty have gone by the wayside for now . Oh , for peace and joy for us all !

A New Beginning

Wishing you all , a new year filled with good health and healing , peace , prosperity and the restoration of all we hold dear !!!

Rediscovered Treasure

So much of my life has centered around food...food memories(sight , taste , texture , dear friends and family who furnished and helped prepare same...) , food prepared , food consumed...aaahhhh , FOOD ! It should , therefore , come as no surprise that recipes are of much importance to me . Google has been pressed into service many times , to ferret out those elusive lost ones . Today revealed just such a treasure ! Long ago and far away , I worked for a wonderful owner of a resort town shop purveying international cooking equipment and beautiful tabletop accessories . Breadbaking was a passion of mine at the time . After a most discerning taste test , I was permitted to bring the warm loaves into the store to sell , on Saturdays , a high-traffic sales day ! There was , of course , a sample loaf to entice prospective buyers ! The venture was successful ! Fast-forward a few decades to the realization that the precious recipe , once taped to the inside cover of the popular red-checked cookbook was missing !!! All conceivable places were searched , to no avail . The search began again today for No Knead Oatmeal Molasses Bread . It was finally located and identified as a Betty Crocker recipe ! This is a no fuss preparation of a fragrant , fairly fine crumb loaf that rarely survives to a cool state ! Somehow the scent of yeasty , molasses bread baking for 50 minutes is enough to drive one to grab softened butter and a sharp knife the moment the timer goes off ! Here's the recipe for all you fellow foodies : 3/4 cup boiling water 1/2 cup old fashioned or quick oats 3 TBSP shortening 1/4 cup light molasses 2 tsp salt 1 package active dry yeast 1/4cup warm water (105-115 degrees) 1 egg 2 3/4 cups all purpose flour 1. Grease a 9"x5" or an 8"x4" loaf pan with shortening or spray . In a large bowl , mix boiling water , oats , shortening , molasses and salt . Cool to lukewarm . In a small bowl , dissolve yeast in warm water . Add yeas , egg and 1 1/2 cup of flour to the oat mixture . Beat with an electric mixer on medium speed for 2 minutes , scraping the bowl frequently . Stir in remaining flour until completely mixed . 2. Spread batter evenly in pan ( will be sticky . Smooth and pat into shape with floured hands) . Cover and let rise in a warm place for 1 hour and 30 minutes , until batter is 1 inch from top of 9x5 pan or at the top of 8x4 pan . 3. Heat oven to 375 degrees . Bake 50-55 minutes or untio loaf is brown and sounds hollow when tapped ( if loaf browns too quickly cover loosely with foil during the last15 minutes of baking ). Remove from pan to cool on a wire rack . For a soft , shiny crust , bruch the top of the loaf with melted butter , if desired . MAKE WAY , FOLKS...THERE GOES THE TIMER !!!

Outdoor Meeting

Today's meeting was months in the making . We were each part of a caregiver team for a dear lady who passed away this Spring . It has taken us this long to coordinate our schedules and covid-compliance , but today , the deed was done . As with all successful ventures , it was done with food ! The venue was centrally located , casual , outdoors and offered wonderful dishes . There is much to be said for a perfectly cooked burger gleefully eaten in the fresh air ! The topics discussed ranged from personal to family to professional . There was no discord ! We began as a supportive , compassionate group and nothing has changed . It was lovely to get together to share time and thoughts , and renew our friendships . Although we were each well-bundled to cope with the chill , the restaurant had outdoor heaters in their tents to keep us comfortable . A lovely afternoon ! Looking forward to our next get together !

Timely Reminder

I have just read a wonderful post by my dear friend on "A Cottage By The Sea" . She reminded us that posting daily , even when we have "nothing to day" , is beneficial to someone who may be feeling lost or alone . As I sit here , my dear cat , Genevieve , is curled up by me...silent , sweet company . She will awaken very soon to remind me , with wide , imploring eyes , that she is due for her second breakfast ! Ah , to be a cat who is well loved ! Have a wonderful day !